Friday, November 5, 2010

A Lyme Symphony

"Snap, Crackle, Pop." Most people hear those three sounds and immediately think of of Rice Krispies cereal popping with milk. When I hear those three sounds, it's usually my joints or other parts of my body expressing that they want a break. They want me to sit, lay down, watch a movie, and maybe take some pain pills (that, I don't object to), but being a 17 year old, I don't want to sit. I don't want to lay down. I want to be out with my friends...going to the boys' state soccer tournament, planning a trip to go snow tubing at Whitetail. Unfortunately, my body doesn't want to cooperate. And I'm starting to finally get the picture that maybe, just maybe, I should listen.

"Thud, crack." That would be the sound of me hitting the floor. My body giving out, too weak to walk back to my room. Mom hadn't heard that sound all day, but from the minute I got home today, that's all she's heard.

I've been off the chemotherapy for about two months now because of how fragile my body was and the constant seizures and narc attacks I was having. Those two months, I thought would be easy and fun. No nausea 24/7, actually being able to eat again, walking without pain, and maybe go back to being Jenna a little more. Instead my Lyme has gradually started to worsen, and I can tell I've lost some of the progress I had made with the previous months of treatment.

"Mmmmmm." (The ugh kind of "mmm" not the tasty kind) hummed from my body the second I got home from school today. There was the box. The box of treatments. The painful package of chemotherapy. A box I wasn't expecting for a couple it was, and I was starting the vicious cycle of chemo all over again tonight. Here's to nonstop vomitting, weakness, and ucky yucky stuff.

"HA!" The music of laughter. Finally over the self-pity, I looked over the box at my dog, Kara.

"Bring it on baby..."

1 comment:

  1. I believe that you are an awesome person for still going on with your life and not letting the pain stop you. Most people would not have the will power to even get out of bed. I saw you come to the pool this summer and you were smiling! Keep on smiling and know that god has guardian angels watching over you!