Thursday, June 24, 2010

Sometimes They Just Want to Scream

Today, one of my best friends, lost his sister in a car accident. She was riding her bike and a car hit her. She didn't suffer, her heart just stopped. My mom took the phone call, and I instantly new something was wrong by her facial expression. An expression of disbelief and sorrow. The second that I found out, I didn't believe it. It was a disturbing day dream. That thought flew out of my mind quickly.

I'm a sobber. I sob during happy times, sad times, mad times, funny times. That's just how I express myself. Sobbing is what came next for me.

Mom helped me get dressed and into the car, and we were at the hospital within minutes. I got out and into my wheelchair and rolled over to where my friends were standing with the family who lost a part of their heart. We sobbed together, hugged each other, and tried to console each other. When time came to talk to my friend, I sobbed harder. I've never been faced with that situation in my 17 years of life.

I listened as everyone said "I'm sorry", "we're praying", "she's in a better place". Don't get me wrong, I believe all of that, but tonight I decided that that isn't always what the person who lost their loved one/friend wants to hear. At that time, they're not taking any of that in. Everyone is saying that to them, and it just becomes something they're used to hearing, and they no longer think about the actual words. I decided that I'm not saying that any longer. I want them to know that yes, I'm sorry. But I'm not going to repeat what everyone else is saying. "I don't know what you're thinking, but THIS SUCKS!" "If you want to scream, yell, cuss, or be mean to someone for a while. I'll be that person, and then hug you afterwards." "You call at 3am, I'll be awake and listening. Even if you don't want to talk to listen, we can sit there in silence together." Are just a few things that I'm going to say. Things that are really taken in during the emotional storm.

The girl that walked through the gates of heaven today was funny, smart, and kind. She was a friend, sister, daughter, and more. She was an incredible, talented, beautiful dancer. She was too young to die, and her family doesn't deserve to go through this, as any family would.

Rest in peace, J.A.R.

No comments:

Post a Comment